I’ve been thinking a lot about sex lately- yes, I know, but not the fictional kind. I’ve been thinking about how my first romance book is being published soon, and how I’ve asked my parents not to read it. I’ve been thinking about how my daughter is so proud her mama writes books, but hasn’t the slightest clue what’s in them. I’ve been reading this blog (http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/erika-lust/how-i-will-tell-my-daughter-i-work-in-porn_b_1562266.html) by the phenomenal feminist erotica director Erika Lust.
I AM a feminist. And I believe in a sex-positive environment for girls. I’ve even gotten a head-start on this stuff through my day-job as a nanny for a 13 year old girl. “You don’t want to be the first one to have sex, and you don’t want to be the last one,” I tell her. “But in the end, everyone does it, and it isn’t special to be doing it- you just want to make it special for YOU.”
It’s easy for me to spout this stuff off because I haven’t raised her. It’s also easy for me to tell her things like, “If he asks for oral, but doesn’t offer in return, NO.” And I believe that, but will I be comfortable telling my kid that? I hope so, but we’re still years away from that kind of discussion.
So maybe, mom, if you’re reading this, you CAN read my book. And maybe, someday, my daughter can too. And maybe, hopefully a much sooner day, I’ll stop feeling like III need to put warnings on such a normal, reasonable, everyday act.