On Fifty

Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t read them. Instead, I read the blogs, and the GR reviews, and the live-tweets that were kind of hilarious–most of them were titled something along the lines of “We read so you don’t have to”.

I regret nothing. Look, that book may not have had the quality of writing that I prefer. It may not even have had the plot that I prefer (*spoiler* I don’t normally read romance, yes I know its my genre) but let me one-hundred percent say right here that I support EL James because I support female writers. I support women’s escapism.

If you have a need to comment on this that women should choose a different book to escape with, STAHP. I can give you a recommendation if you want smarter smut, or historical, or literary, or classic, or even sci-fi. I READ those books. I love them. I escape that way too. That’s not the point here.

But, a billion women (literally) have chosen Fifty as the book that opened them up to other possibilities, and this post isn’t about the book anyway. It’s about the movie.

First, let’s discuss men’s escapism. Specifically, action movies. I personally am a massive Bond fan. I loved Connery, but I do think Daniel Craig is the bestest. He nails the emotional intricacies, but that’s neither here nor there.

What IS- is that when I hear a new Bond movie is coming out, I don’t sit down and make a Buzzfeed list of why you “shouldn’t see that” and rather should see something smarter.

Not my business.

Do I find certain intricately plotted Guy Ritchie movies to be more well-done than any Michael Bay film? OBVI. But I don’t judge you because you want to check out the new Transformers on opening night. Nope.

Not my business.

Because why do I get to dictate that you only choose one? Why are people telling me, “Oh, you liked the Fifty movie? You should have saved your money and watched Secretary.” I could have. I could have watched a rom-com about BDSM for free on Netflix. But I chose to spend money seeing a love story about control + spanking. Just like you could have watched a movie about dudes racing cars, versus a movie about dudes in space. Do you see how it’s different? And you don’t have to pick just one?

Not my business.

So Dakota Johnson, her of the perfect body and face, chooses to allow (CHOOSES, make no mistake, there was consent(in the movie)) Jamie Dornan to spank her. She is given the tool, a safe word, of refusal, and CHOOSES not to utilize it. In the penultimate scene, she ASKS him to hurt her.

When she chooses not to safe out, but also not to stay, she demonstrates to him that she does not approve of what he prefers, but also that he didn’t break her. Does this make her less of a woman?

Because I saw Casino Royale. And I watched Mads Mikkelsons’ character torture, sexually you might add, Bond. And he wasn’t less of a man because he allowed it to happen. Okay, he didn’t enjoy it, but it was a means to an ends. Which is exactly how Anastasia Steele feels about what she allows Christian Grey to do to her.

Do I feel like Ana sets me back as a feminist? Well. Does Jason Statham emasculate YOU? I mean, I have seen a bunch of his movies with men I have been involved with. None of them ever complained afterwards that he hurt images of masculinity by being too- manly, masculine, hairy, angry, badass, pissy, unremorseful, big, muscular, murderous, or basically- ideal.

So why should I, a feminist, be upset about Ana’s willing submission, her femininity, her humor, her pubic hair, her straight up DOMINANCE- because-in the movie- that is what it was- I think she’s someone to emulate. She, as even Christian admits, changes HIM, not herself.

Y’all, I am a feminist. And I support this message. Go see this movie. Enjoy it, don’t- either way, let’s have an honest discussion without all the silly politizing.


9 thoughts on “On Fifty

  1. Angie O.

    Oh Kayti. My fantastic, amazing, brilliant, sexy Kayti McGee! I love this! Yes! YES! And how about another YES! My wife and I had the same discussion after the movie about the “anti-feminist” message people use as their go-to mouth off when discussing these books. I’m a card carrying member of NOW. I’m a feminist, and I enjoyed the movie. I might have even loved it! ❤ Cheers to you, lovely!

  2. Prisilla

    I stumbled upon this blog? Article? (Not sure which lol) from someone who shared it on FB. Not sure you’re an author, I kind of picked up on that maybe you are? I hope you are because this was brilliantly written (wait until I’m done here I’m going to amazon kindle your name to see what I get haha). I did read the book, and all though I did catch 50 shades fever, I know that the book isn’t as well written as how other authors write (thats ok, it was E.L James’ first book, plus, I’m more of a Sohpie Kinsella, Rebecca Donovan kind of reader). The book also has some… inconsistencies that sometimes made it hard to finish, BUT like I said, it was her first book. To be honest, I liked the story because I had no clue that world existed. Now that I read FSOG I’ve read other books from other authors that are better but still, it is an interesting story, with great chemistry and I’m tired of people shaming those who liked it. I dont think that watching The Hobbit for five million hours is interesting but I don’t judge those who do.

  3. fatti

    I commented different blogs when it comes with “Fifty Shades of Grey” the movie. I can say that it’s a fictional character and story of two person to have a certain relationship that I myself have no idea that it may exist! Yesterday, me and my partner watched that movie, i am disappointed not on the erotic scene of the movie but that delivery of acts of the 2 main character Christian & Anastasia plus the cut-scene of the movie based on the book. Overall, I still recommend to watch this movie for curiosity sake..

  4. sammylynn929

    Brava, my friend! You expressed everything I’ve been thinking and feeling but with so much more eloquence than I ever could. I truly believe these books and the movie have brought such taboo subjects to the mainstream, that we’re experiencing a bit of a new sexual revolution. They have done more good than harm, in my opinion. If people don’t feel that way, they should just live and let live. I’m not judging anyone for the way they feel about it, but I am getting a little tired of seeing the judgmental nonsense in my newsfeed..,,

  5. Nina Thieu

    I loved the movie – I didn’t read the books either. SO I had no expectations to live up to. When people read the book , you envision your own movie . And then when the physical movie come out , and it doesn’t live up to your expectations- they automatically hate the movie . Everyone has there own vision of how the movie is to portray but in reality its only one person vision that was created to a movie . People need to realize . Just like with Twilight . – People who read the books thought Robert & Kristen Steward was no match to be Bella & Edward ( yet movie was kind of ridiculous, of how bad there acting was ) but it was a movie and I still enjoys watching it .

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